A Prayer about Disconnected Hearts
But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” (Jon. 4:1–3 NIV)
Father, I used to stand in self-righteous judgment of Jonah and other believers like him who got angry and distanced themselves from you, but no longer. Like Jonah, I know the right answers, I’ve got Scriptures underlined in my Bible— how you’re a “gracious and compassionate God . . . slow to anger and abounding in love,” and all that stuff. But right now, those words hold little charm or power for me. I still believe I’ll go to heaven when I die, but it’s living that’s got me most concerned. I’ve known you well enough that I don’t want to disown you, but I’ve also known you well enough that your ways sometimes leave me feeling confused and angry.
So today I bring my disconnected heart and the hearts of some of my friends fore you. Lord, help me understand; show us what happened: Where did we lose connection with you, or did we simply choose disconnection from you?
Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh and preach. Where am I afraid of going or staying? I do know that some of my friends so want to run away from their marriages. Help them, Lord. I don’t understand all the issues, but please intervene, if for no other reason than for their children. When I look at some of my friends’ stories, I see new chapters of loss, reversals, trials, and heartaches being written weekly. I understand why they look at the sky and cry, “Where are you, God, in all this?”
Lord, my resources are low, so I have so little to offer them. I feel like such a hypocrite, so I simply cry out from my dryness and weakness, “Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on these I love.”
And in my case, please show me in the coming hours and days what I’ve done with my heart. What’s broken about me that I’ve yet to see? What is my sin in all of this? What am I afraid of that I don’t want to admit?
So far, every time I have bought a one-way ticket away from your presence, it hasn’t worked very well for me. I find myself saying with the disciples, “Where can we go, Jesus? You alone have the words of eternal life.” Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I pray in your glorious name.
Amen.