A Prayer about My Restless, Antsy Heart
Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth! (Ps. 46:10)
Heavenly Father, I don’t have “ants in my pants,” but I am antsy. I don’t have “restless leg syndrome,” but I do have a restless heart. That’s why the command to be still and know that you are God comes like a kiss from heaven. Please bring the settling and centering power of the gospel to bear, for my sake and the benefit of those around me.
I’m not sure what all’s going on inside of me. I haven’t been able to identify all the issues, but I know I’m not as peaceful, quiet, or trusting as I want to be or as you intend.
When I get in this anxious, edgy, squirmy place, I usually run to my control idols. I try to micromanage the chaos— and whoever and whatever else is in sight. I start acting either like an orphan or like the fourth member of the Trinity, vacillating between fear and arrogance. I cannot remember a time when that ever led to anything good. Usually it just makes other people wary and weary of being around me, especially members of my family.
So I humble myself before you, loving Father. I come boldly to an occupied throne of grace, throwing down my plastic scepter and presumption about being in control. You who will be exalted among the nations, be exalted in my heart, my day, my circumstances.
Lord Jesus, take captive my roaming thoughts. As you spoke and stilled the tossing waves for nervous disciples, speak and still my disquieted emotions— even if nothing or no one around me changes. As you harnessed the power of the wind, harness the passions of my will, that I might obey the gospel of grace. I pray in your mighty and merciful name.
Amen.