A Prayer about Feeling Scattered
He made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment— to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. (Eph. 1:9–10 NIV)
Dear Jesus, there are times when I am, as one of my favorites hymns says, “prone to wander . . . prone to leave the God I love.” When I get lulled and dulled into that place, it’s usually because I haven’t been spending unrushed time with you— gazing upon your beauty and bounty, reflecting upon your glory and grace, listening for your singing and rejoicing over me in the gospel. That’s when I get enamored, then hammered, with the illusion that you’re not enough— that someone or something else might make my life more complete. What a maniacal myth.
But that’s not at all what I’m feeling today. I see your beauty in the gospel, and I do not doubt your love for me one bit. Right now I’m just feeling scattered, splintered, discombobulated, pulled in a myriad of directions with a big school of little piranha nibbling away at my soul. I’m not feeling tempted to do something crazy; I’m just feeling a little crazed.
I so long for the day when “all things in heaven and on earth” will be brought together in you— that is, “summed up,” integrated, reunited. No more discombobulation, just combobulation! In light of that day, please meet me in this day. Center and settle me, Jesus. Help me to take my thoughts captive; help me to reel in my fluctuating emotions; help me to still the clatter and remove some of the clutter from my spirit.
You are my head and I am in your heart, and that is enough. I love being loved by you, Lord Jesus. I love you only because you first loved me and gave yourself as a sacrifice of atonement and propitiation for my sins. I am presently and eternally grateful. I pray in your name, and for your glory.
Amen.